awareness

Just The Two Of Us

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Within the mindset that what we do for others, we are working on in ourselves, I see the actions I am taking to help someone grow are the things that are my struggle to grow with as well.

My son and I have been a tight pair since he was born. He was not an easy boy to raise after vaccination sensitivity caused developmental regression at an important stage of life.

School, Aspergers, socialization, therapy: we had our roles: I was his cheerleader and advocate, tried to shelter him, anticipate what the issues were, ease him into trying new things -

and dust myself off when well-meaning experiments sometimes went south.

I loved him. I wanted to protect him, but over time, I came to realize that some of these well-meaning efforts ‘bubble-wrapped’ him against the work he needed to do to stand on his own feet…

Steps he needed to take himself.

I realize to be an advocate of his independence in this new stage of life, I needed to step back and let him

make his own decisions

set new expectations

disagree with me

fix his own dinner

handle his finances

figure out his own schedules

make mistakes.

Old habits die hard, and being a helicopter mom was second nature for twenty years. It’s still hard sometimes not to take the wheel for him when he is working things out.

But this is the work towards a measure of independence that we both have to do in our own lives.

It has taken longer in time than some young adults need, but that is what it took. It takes different types of strategies and preparations, and some hand-holding, but that is what it takes as well.

And with extra time, reassurance and ‘figure it out yourself’,

I see that he is feeling more assured, trying his wings at the end of the nest, making short flights.

And succeeding.

One thing, though never changes.

I have a little ritual in the mornings, where I watch him walking to work in the crowds, as far as I can see him, until he is out of sight.

And then, saying ‘thank you’ in tears of gratitude

for the marvel of a young man walking down the street to work -

a vision that looks so everyday and ordinary,

but is evidence of beautiful, positive growth that has happened in ours.

Sane Spaces

One of the young student guests at my recent art show closing reception said, 

"I'm going to miss this show."  

She used to come to the UIC African American Art Gallery to do her work through the school year and finals,

along with other students practicing yoga, making art, and, on Finals week, even eating breakfast there!  

It occurred to me that I had made an art show that successfully created a zone of energy.

For four months, eleven photographs in the AACC gallery wrapped the space in energy, serving as an artistic "power station" for the campus -

and creating a room that felt really, really nice to rest in.  

This show working with vibration worked beyond my expectations, and offered me an experience rich with potential.


Dorothy Perry is an acclaimed Portrait Artist in Chicago creating commissioned photographic portraits that celebrate the heart of loving relationships for parents, soulmates and sweethearts.  Follow Dorothy Perry Portrait Art on Facebook or Instagram.

Share a Breath

Take time to hear someone's voice from the inside.  

Match your calm breathing with the breathing of your partner,

and 'share a breath' in and out for a time of silence.

 

Not only does this calm emotions,

this action serves to 'sync' one's heart with the other, to humanize a connection, and energize the space for a newer - or deeper - conversation.

 

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We hope you have enriching experiences using this technique in daily life.


Dorothy Perry celebrates sweethearts and soulmates in fine portraiture that capture love's legacy in spirited images. Contact the studio here to discuss your fine art portrait commission.